what a world!!!

The Human Roast

2009-09-08T12:07:00.001+05:30

new address..thnx

2009-06-27T22:12:00.002+05:30

Blog is now shifted to

http://whataworldagain.wordpress.com/

The ‘Alex Page’ Series – Part 4

2009-06-19T18:09:00.003+05:30

trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrringgg!

When you constantly look at the watch for the time to move fast, it doesn't. Alex was constantly looking at his watch waiting for the lecture to finish off before the turn to introduce himself comes upon him. But every time he took a look at the time it was still! :)

Finally as he wanted, it went off. The bell which announces the end of a lecture rang and the introduction activity came to an abrupt stop. PHEW!! Alex got a big relief from facing the crowd.

First impression is the last impression. Alex has been hearing this for quite a few years. Truly the statement proved its worth with the first lecture. He was not impressed at all with the professor. The weakest in mathematics, a thought started running in his mind on how he will cope up with the subject with such a boring professor. He had scored one mark in his algebra and geometry paper in his final prelims. How he cracked the same papers in the university level was a mystery for him. It was a miracle that had happened. It was a miracle that let him believe in god.

“it was all because of the prayers”.

Never in his life was he ever serious with prayers, serious with god, serious with Sunday school not even with his studies. The seriousness came one week before the university exams were to begin. When everyone went to bed in the night, Alex used to get down on his knees and start saying his prayers. He used to pray not only for himself but for everyone he knew who had helped him for the preparation of exams.

God was a regular topic every night for Alex from the day results were out.

“Don’t fall in bad company, Make good friends, Don’t do drugs, Don’t smoke…Don’t…Don’t…Don’t…Don’t….”. Clara had given all the advice she could give to her son. She was aware that Alex would be exposed to very different environment which could harm him.It was her duty to take care of her son even if he was away from him. That’s what a mothers responsibility is.

Alex had grown mature enough to understand all of the above. He had grown enough to understand that he should not be letting his parents down. He had grown enough to understand that he should make good use of his fathers hard earned money. He knew what to do.

They showed a macho man and a beautiful woman going round the trees in the movies. They showed a macho man impressing the girl he loves with love letters, roses and the fake suicide attempts by cutting his veins. They showed a macho man bunking lectures and doing all the weird things one can do. They showed a macho man coming inside a lecture room and leaving a lecture room at is own will with the professor looking helplessly at the class. They showed a macho man standing outside the college for three sixty five days and still standing first in the exams. They showed a macho man fighting the bad guys and outsmarting them with sheer ease as if he had all the powers of god. They showed the macho man taking his bike inside the corridors of the college premises and doing stunts inside the campus. The college life was portrayed such in the movies. Perhaps Alex thought this will be happening in his Maryland College too.

But what followed was exactly the opposite. It changed Alex’s life. It changed Page’s mindset about Alex. Clara was heartbroken.

To Be Continued…

The ‘Alex Page’ Series – Part 3

2009-05-30T12:30:00.002+05:30

Continued…

Maryland College Of Commerce (MCC).

chirp chirp chirp… Alex woke up with a start with the wake up sounds of the tiny sparrows residing in the ashoka trees bang outside Alex’s balcony . It was five in the morning. One month passed by in a whoosh and it was the day Alex will be attending his first day in junior college. It was the first day Alex will be travelling by the local trains to attend college. He was excited but he was nervous too. Nervous because he will be meeting new people, nervous because he was afraid that he will not be able to make friends just because he was from the sleepy village town of Amby Valley, nervous because it will be his first day of his college life.

Never in his school life, Alex had interacted with girls. He used to be very afraid of girls. If at all, the only interaction he used to have with them was – give a smile and mind his own his business. He used to be so nervous, he used to shiver with fear whenever he was to face a Venus. For him chatting with girls were a distant dream and making friends with them was much more far! However he hoped that at least in college he will make away with this ‘disease’.

Travelling to Maryland was a tedious process, a process of jumping inside a hot box of moving iron in a span of 15 seconds along with another 40 people, filled with two legged creatures with sweat running down from every visible part of their body. With age old fans covered with dust, leafs rotating inside which never blew air. These were the local trains which chugged from Amby valley to the city of Maryland. These were the trains which never obeyed their time. These were the trains which were termed ‘The lifeline of Maryland’. Almost ninety percent of people working in Maryland were from the suburban cities of Amby valley, Santa Cruz, Churchgate, Banderas, Elphinstone, who used the lifeline to reach Maryland. The trains carried double their capacity of passengers. There used to be at least twenty accidents every month. Alex had to face all these odds in a tiring forty five minute journey from Valley. This was the reason Clara was not interested in sending her son to Maryland.

Page accompanied Alex to MCC to make him comfortable on the first day.

Big walls painted in cream and brown, students sitting on bikes parked in a line on one side of the road, a police station on the other, a barren land with tid bits of grass bang outside the entrance, bustling with students, some zooming on bikes with their friends, some in cars, some talking endlessly in their cell phones before a board which said – Cell Phones Strictly Prohibited Inside College Premises According to University Regulations. MARYLAND COLLEGE OF COMMERCE written boldly in black on a big board on the front… MCC was already ‘awake’ with lectures, canteens and ‘bunking’!

Five rows, three large windows on one side, nine fans rotating in slow pace, a big blackboard with charts of human skeleton, atoms, molecules and atom bombs,charts in pink yellow and white, the classroom was already filled with the new faces, everything was same as school except one thing, you did not have to wear uniforms!

Alex decided to do something he had never dared to do. He sat on the first bench. First bench of the third row. He thought SOMETHING will change in him if he sits in the front. Good effort!

trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiinngggggGG!! the bell rang. Students on their seats, a short dark haired guy wearing spectacles with big glasses sat next to Alex. Both of them exchanged smiles, introduced each other and then kept mum.

A tall middle-aged man with files, a pair of chalks, a duster entered the room. It was the professor. He took a long look around the whole class as if he was looking for some suspect criminal.

“Good morning stoodents!” said he with a big gleaming smile. The smile was so broad that one could see the texture of his teeth. It was stained in red color with one devils teeth missing.

“Good morning sir'” replied the stoodents in a low voice.

“i am sure you people had your breakfast..yeah?”

“Good morning sir!!!!!” the class replied back in their full might.

“Now everyone introduce yourself one by one starting from the first bench”

As soon as Alex heard this, a chill ran down his spine, beads of sweat on his forehead.

He slowly shifted to the last bench. Facing the crowd made him shiver ;)…

To Be Continued..

The 'Alex Page' Series - Part 2

2009-05-15T20:03:00.002+05:30

Continued...

Alex Enters Junior College...

Born to a middle class family, Alex was the eldest son of Page and Clara, and the elder brother to Abraham. Born in the month of January, Alex was a true Capricorn.

The Page family had earned a good amount of respect in their locality. Both Clara and Page were always good to everyone. They never treated anyone differently. Even the man who collects garbage from their household was treated like a family member.

Page and Clara had an exactly opposite personality. There was not a single quality which was same to both of them except one, and that was simplicity. Page used to talk less, in simple words he was a bit introvert. The only thing he talked was sense and no non-sense. On the other hand Clara was an extremely talkative person. She could talk for hours and hours. Clara was a cleanliness freak. She wanted everything neat and tidy, spick and span! Page did not have much importance to it….

Like all of us have, Alex and Abraham had ‘inherited’ the qualities of their parents. Abraham was a great talker but he had no cleanliness at all. On the other hand Alex was an introvert but a ‘spick and span’ type.

Lourdes Nursery was were Alex had done his kindergarten. Run by Christians the school had a good reputation for quality education. The Page duo were happy that their son had passed the interview and had secured his place in the nursery. Page wanted that his son studied well and make a good future.

Alex was a last bencher. He was a surprise package as he was not at all interested in studies especially mathematics. He used to get beatings right from nursery to his school days for not faring well in mathematics. “Rosita teacher” had created terror in Alex’s mind. He used to be very afraid of her. Every other day the little boy was either standing on the bench or kneeling down for chit chatting and MATHEMATICS! :)

It was “Agnes mam” and “Jacqueline mam” during school days. If not in studies Alex had great interest in sports. He used to run relays for his ‘RED’ team..run hundred meters for his ‘GREEN’ team..run two hundred meters for his ‘YELLOW’ team…..run and run and run..run from books run from studies run from tuition classes run from everything that said “STUDY!!!”.

Now that he had scored 65% in his tenth grade, it was decision time to opt the correct field, Science, Arts and Commerce you know!. Science required a good grip on mathematics which Alex did not have, Arts was a boring subject and the only thing left was Commerce. “So lets go for commerce stream!” said Alex. Choosing a stream was not a tough process but choosing a college was. Getting into a good college was a rather competitive job. A good amount of importance was given from which college a student did his studies from. Scores came second.

Maryland College of Commerce was a sought after and reputed college specialized in commerce and economics. Alex had secured admission in the ‘second round’. Thanks to his grandpas Freedom Fighter Certificate. A special preference was given to students holding such certificates and Alex was one of them. Alex always wanted to go out of his sleepy Amby Valley town and study in the good, modern colleges of the cosmopolitan Maryland. Even Page wanted this but Clara did not. However she finally agreed. She had to! She wanted her son to be smart, talkative like her and much more…

College was to start after one month and Alex had many dreams to fulfill once he entered college.

To Be Continued….

The 'Alex Page' Series - Part 1

2009-05-07T10:41:00.004+05:30

Summer of 2004.

Our Lady Of Lourdes School was bustling with students and parents. Students waiting to grab their Secondary School Certificate. The certificate which officially says that its time to say “goodbye” to school life and “hieee” to college life.

(Parents these days were more eager to know how much others had scored)

It was an emotional day for students who spent about ten years of their life in this school, ten years of studies, ten years of mischief, ten years of exams, ten years of playing football with the ten centimeter tamarind tree stick during the 10minute ‘recess’. Ten years of chanting jana gana mana and hail mary prayers everyday before the start of the school periods and vande mataram before the school got over.

Ten years of kneeling down as a punishment for “disturbing the class by talking continuously, not listening to the teachers.” Ten years of listening to teachers giving complaints about the student to their respective “mothers and fathers” during ‘open day’.

Ten years of a wonderful school life.

From this day onwards the hectic process of applying to different colleges for the respective courses -Science Arts or Commerce you know - had started.

It was again a hectic process of picking out which field to opt for – Science Arts Commerce you know! – your mummy and papa would say of their choice, your friends would say something of their choice. And one ends opting for the wrong course. But that helps sometimes though!

The Science field was for all the so called spectacle wearing intelligent students. Commerce also carried somewhat the same weightage. Arts was for all the low scoring students. ha!

Alex had scored 65% and was in a very joyful mood because he had never thought he would score so much.

To be continued….

Next: Alex enters junior college.

what is this advertisement trying to say..??

2009-03-22T22:20:00.003+05:30

In todays modern world competition has increased so much that companys try different ways of attracting potential customers.

If you go to see, these days Advt. companies put so much creativity in their clients promotion that they instantly stick on to the potential consumers mind.

here is one such Advt billboard which caught my attention and of many others too.

But i did not understand whom the advertising was promoting.

Take a look.

Height Of Foolishness.

2009-03-15T14:23:00.002+05:30

BJP activists did not let a film producer to install a statue of Charlie Chaplin in place near Udupi just because Mr.Chaplin was a christian!!

The activists were of the opinion that Mr.Chaplin being a christian will hurt the sentiments of the hindu community residing there.

Heres what The Times Of India has to say:

Hindutva brigands attacking a statue of Charlie Chaplin on the grounds that he was a Christian and having his statue close to a temple was offensive to Hindu sentiments may appear too bizzare to be taken seriously. It is indeed ludicrous. But unless such groups are dealt with summarily and the nuisance nipped in the bud, what seems farcical today could become tragically real tomorrow. The state government must show that it will not allow such lumpen activity to go unpunished. It must crack down hard to deter potential imitators of such trends.

No 'We' Are Not Responsible!!

2009-03-05T19:00:00.003+05:30

Since the day it has been found that Pakistan was in some way or the other responsible for the 26/11 mumbai siege, the troubled country has been denying its involvement in it.

India tried every other way to pressurise Pak in accepting that the perpetrators of the mumbai crime came from Pakistans soil.

No we are not involved!! said Pak

Pakistan was looking for a chance to deviate the global attention it was getting for all the wrong reasons.

"We have specific information that RAW of India did this" said one pak official

in response to the attacks on the Sri Lankan Cricket Team.

he he...how funny and childish :) :)...

(Image: Just Like That;Mumbai Mirror)

Scar Life

2009-03-01T13:43:00.004+05:30

"A blind beggar earns much more than a normal one" said Jamaal Malik in Slumdog Millionaire.

An afternoon trip in the local trains of Mumbai will make you realize that Jamaal Malik is absolutely right.i ha

ve observed it for myself that a beggar with one hand missing, pair oh hands missing etc...passengers

just shoo them away. But if he is a blind beggar then atleast a dozen of them will shell out a rupee to them.

I have still not understood the logic behind this.

And i strongly believe that the beggar

mafia does exist where they pull out peoples eyes and send them for begging!!

(The Maharashtra Govt. has finally initiated a probe into this after a complaint sent by a UK citizen to the PM of India.)

Politics of Hooliganism!!...

2009-01-28T08:14:00.004+05:30

First it was the Shiv Sena who used to beat up people who bought roses on Valentines day.

(only a single case of the 100 others)

Then came MNS promising to protect the common man from Shiv Sena's violence....but ended up making a mess of it...navnirman you see.

Now we have Sri Ram Sene thrashing women for dancing 'indecently' in Public bars.

I dont know what these dudes mean by 'indecent'.

Yesterday MNS dudes vandalised properties worth rs.50000 in Mumbai University..why??

because the guard was rude to them!!!

When are we seeing an end to this 'no one dare touch us' attitude of these people.

i read in TOI today that MNS can be banned under National Security Act.

why can be banned?

why not will be banned?

I hope it happens...

Abraham and Moses to blame for Gaza war.

2009-01-07T09:46:00.006+05:30

Back in June, 2008, Egypt helped broker a 6-month cease-fire agreement between Israel and Hamas, the ruling body in the Gaza Strip. Though the cease-fire was broken several times by both sides, it largely held.

Toward the end of the cease-fire in December, Israel, while closing Gaza's borders since November, indicated that it might extend the agreement, if Hamas ceased all Qassam rocket attacks. Qassam rockets are the crude but deadly homemade missiles often launched towards Israeli territory (over 3,000 times in 2008 alone).

Hamas leaders, angered by the blockade and seemingly little political headway made over the past 6 months, recently stepped up rocket attacks on Israel once again. Israel has now responded with five days (so far) of air attacks and Naval bombardment on Gaza, resulting in over 350 dead, nearly 1,500 wounded and countless buildings and smugglers' tunnnels destroyed.

Hamas has threatened to increase the rocket attacks send suicide bombers into Israel in retaliation, and Israel is massing troops and tanks around Gaza for a possible ground assault....

check out how it all started..

http://opinion.inquirer.net/inquireropinion/columns/view/20090107-181841/Abraham-and-Moses-to-blame-for-Gaza-war..

Exposed!!

2008-12-30T15:03:00.005+05:30

Today Mumbai Mirror carried an article 'The home guards who cheat on homework' in the City page. It said how the guards posted at the railway stations on both CR and WR enter fictitious names and destinations in the register they are supposed to maintain after they check suspected commutters.

yes!! it is true...and i am glad that it has finaly been revealed and found out because......

i had found it out way two years back!!!

i'll tell u how...

immidieatly after the serial blasts in the local trains, guards were posted at each of the railway stations to check the bags of suspecting commuters.

Their job was to check the bags of the commuters and write down their details i.e. their name, address, et cetra et cetra...

i was asked to show my belongings one day at the red coloured or sponsored table the guards sit on.

the only thing i was carrying was my backpack...i was going to college.

i opened my bag and showed them what was inside.

then i was asked to give my details.

i gave my name..a fake one.

i gave my address...a fake one.

i gave my dads name..a fake one.

i said the destination i was going to...a fake one.

whoa!!!!! and now i can easily place a bomb in the train without the police knowing whodunit!!!

this is how they used to work all these years.

the next day i decided to check out how sincierly the guards did thier duty.

i stood close to the counter in such a manner that the guard should not suspect me again and i can have a clear visibility of the register.

what i saw just made me say....f***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the guards used to copy the names and addressess from the front page again on every fourth page of the register without checking anyone!!!!!

wow!!!! kya checking hain yaar!!!

u guys work brilliantly....hats off to ya!!!! cheeers!!!!

Help...

2008-12-29T12:29:00.004+05:30

hey guys i was bored of the usual blogger templates.....

and i tried changing the template....

downloaded an HTML template patch and tried copy pasting in the HTML box and guess what the whole alignment changed...

the search bar there up there..i dont know hw it cropped up there....

The background photo has disappeared in the dark...

the curent template is the only

one which looks good.. all the other templates make a mess of the alignment...

the day and date of posting is not shown...and god knows what...

Who is to be blamed??

2008-12-28T17:58:00.006+05:30

whoossshhhh..... a whaft of cold air hits me on my face, hits me on my bare legs, hits me everywhere :)

It was my crompton ..err.. nope bajaj hmmm.. nope my crompton ceiling fan who was doing this mischief. Electricity finally...after 3boring hours of 'load shedding'. Time to Google!!!... 3.30pm :)

orkut: no-buddy is online...

gtalk:no-budyy is online...

hmmm kya karein...

'net' control nahi hota...(enrique is singing addicted on wmp. what a co-in-cidence).

Currently both India and Pakistan are giving dahmkis(threats) to each other of attacking each other.wow!! fighter planes, missiles excite me a lot.

I decide to take a look at our good old indian airforce....thru their website...

an unimpressive website opens up...with photos of helicopters, planes and others flashing from each corner of the webpage... i click on the link 'gallery'....aha!!! it does not open up.

recruitments..same story.

i immidieatly leave the page and log on to the website of the US airforce.

just take a look at airforce.com and see how it looks!!!

after about 1 hour i end up downloading a couple of photos of the US fighter planes, their navy ships, submarines...etc...

after logging off what made me think was this.... Why did i get impressed with the US thing and not India?

Even today i am proud of the US defence.....why???

thinking.....thinking.....stillll thinking......

yeps...thats it!!!

movies man!!! hollywood movies are to be blamed........

There are so many english movies i have seen which praise the US defence that i started feeling proud of them.....a sense of feeling that my own countrys defence is inferior than theirs...

am i to be blamed??

Bollywood too has tried to make such movies but ended making love stories in them..

am i to be

blamed???

AM I TO BE BLAMED??

Lost......

2008-12-24T17:12:00.007+05:30

September 1 to 31: i open my laptop, switch it on, log on to the big world of inter-net and do what??....gtalk and orkut.

divsi: updated blog?

me: i'll do it...pakkka!!

september goes through and Raj "hitler" Thackrey is still there staring at me from 'The Week'

whenever i log on to joyajit.blogspot.com.

October 1 to 30: i open my laptop, switch it on, log on to the big world of inter-net and do what??....gtalk and orkut.

divsi: updated blog?

me: i'll do it...pakkka!!

october goes through and Raj "hitler" Thackrey is still there staring at me from 'The Week' whenever i log on to joyajit.blogspot.com.....

December 1 to 24: i open my laptop, switch it on, log on to the big world of inter-net and do what??....gtalk and orkut.

divsi: when are you updating your blog you dumb!!!!

neha: when are you .....loser??(she just started blogging and see hows she talkiing :P)

me: i'll do it...pakkka!!.....

hey guys i am sorry but i'll definetly try updating frequently.....and with my own articles.. there seems to be a short circuit in the only active nerve in my brain...repair work is in progres....till that time catch the guy who owns itsmesushlee.blogspot.com and tell him to update .....cheers!! :)

Mint Street Man

2008-12-24T17:01:00.003+05:30

The area outside the main post office near CST, or GPO as it is better known, showcases Mumbai’s gully enterprise at its best. In this congested microcosmic world of trade and commerce, you get everything that is cheap and untrustworthy—fake ayurvedic body massages, two-rupee pens that stop writing after you scribble a few lines, Chinese toys and watches that stop working as soon as you buy them and pirated CDs of Bollywood flicks that don’t play beyond the intermission.

It was here that I met Razak seven years ago. He sat crouched beneath a torn umbrella in the noon sun at Mint Street that runs perpendicular to the GPO. I did not notice him initially, I only heard a husky voice while passing by, “Seth, vajan karna hai? (Sir, do you want to be weighed?)’’

I looked down and saw a cumbersome weighing machine with a brass foot-holder and a Swastika insignia on its head. A man with a grey stubble, who must have been in his late sixties, glanced at me as if he was doing me a big favour. “Yeh machine chalu hai kya? (Does the machine work?)’’ I taunted him.

“Saheb, imported machine hai,

Germany

sey. Yeh machine jhoot nahi bolta,’’ he said. (“It’s an imported machine from

Germany

. It doesn’t lie.’’) I climbed on the brass footer and its needle moved smoothly and then stood steady at a slanted position. “Tujha vajan chaangla aahey (Your weight is good),’’ Razak said, switching breezily to Marathi.

He nevertheless advised me to put on some more weight, saying I could afford to do so. “Do come next month,’’ he said as I gave him a Re 1 coin. In the ensuing years, I used to stop at Razak’s weighing machine counter whenever I passed through Mint Street. He spoke fluent Marathi, Gujarati and Hindi and I assumed that he was a migrant from Gujarat. But once he blurted out to a man who passed by in Malayalam, “Eda, oru chaya venum (Hey, I want tea).’’
On being asked whether he was a Malayali, he just smiled. It turned out that Razak hailed from Thalassery in North Kerala. He had run away from
home when he was 17 years old to escape poverty. He initially worked in the Bombay Docks and then at the ship-breaking yards in Gujarat. He lived frugally in the back alleys and dormitories of the Fort area for years together.

    Razak managed to save money for the nikaah of his three sisters, but never thought of his own marriage. In the late ’70s, he went back to Kerala to be with his parents, but there was no work back home. He went to Gujarat in the early ‘80s, but paid a price for the prolonged exposure to salt water while breaking many ships’ hulls—he sustained a wound on his toe that refused to heal. Then he came back to Mumbai again. A few months later, when he was passing through Chor Bazaar, he saw a weighing machine. “I took all my savings and purchased it,’’ he said.
    For 20 years, the machine provided him sustenance. Two years ago, Razak took me to his dormitory located on D N Road. Inside the cramped room, there were about nine people sleeping on bunk beds. Near Razak’s bunk was a small window, from where he could see the GPO’s beautiful dome.
    Uday Yadav, a migrant from Bihar, who sold Bermuda shorts at Churchgate station, slept on the lower bunk. “We come here just to sleep. The gully is our home,’’ Razak said.

In February this year, I met Razak for the last time. I gave him Rs 20 after weighing myself, but he did not have enough change to return the balance. We spoke for a while and he said he was upset about the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena’s attacks on migrants.

“The city is no longer safe for poor migrants,’’ he said. After that meeting, Razak disappeared from Mint Street. When I inquired about him, one of the hawkers told me he had gone back home, permanently. A few months later, as I was passing through a bylane at Fort, a man called me from behind. I did not recognise him initially. He said, “Razak bhai asked me to give this to you.’’It was Uday Yadav, Razak’s room-mate. “What is this?’’ I asked. “Rs 19, vajan ka baaki (the balance).’’ “Where is bhai?’’

“He is no more. He developed gangrene in his foot. One of the things he told me as he lay dying, was to give you back this money.’’ I stood there, holding those fistful of coins.Yadav pointed downwards and said, “Bhai gave this to me.’’ It was the cumbersome brass footer, gleaming in the noon sun.

(This is the first in a series in which TOI reporters narrate the stories behind the news or tell the tale of the city through people they met)

The Times Of India 24/12/08

Mera Bharat Mahan

2008-11-01T09:05:00.003+05:30

...Here is another gem from A-Rod. In the light of recent events she has recast the Student’s Pledge which appears on every textbook in Maharashtra, by substituting India with Maharashtra (and other subtle additions) to read as follows:

“

Maharashtra is my country and only Maharashtrians are my brothers and sisters.

I love my country and I am proud of its rich and varied heritage.

I shall always strive to be worthy of it (by dissing everyone who is not a Maharashtrian).

I shall give respect to my parents, teachers and elders (assuming that they are all Maharashtrians) and treat everyone (ditto as before) with courtesy.

To my country and my people, I pledge my devotion (the rest can go take a walk to other parts of India).

In their well being and prosperity alone, lies my happiness.”

The Economic Times;31/10/08

And we say "all indians are my brothers and sisters!!"

2008-10-29T13:55:00.003+05:30

October 2, 7.30 am _CST bound local...

MNS is on the boil with their 'navnirman'...

|||||| Fully clad in my brand formals i decide to stand near the footboard to avoid the mad morning rush from dombivli. The whole country is having a holiday but we dont.
We are having our presentations.

Hopefully gandhiji saved me. For the first time there was hardly any one who boarded the train from dombi...hehe.

Though the train is half empty, i decide to stand near the footboard. There are two standees behind me. I was enjoying the cool morning breeze standing near the door.

"bhaiya yeh bhandup kaunsa side aata hain" someone whispers in a pure hindi/bihari/UP dialect. His face was full of fear, as if he was in an enemy land and the army there waiting to pounce on him.

i observed a sense of relief on his face when i replied.
brown haired, a soiled black coloured bag, grey full sleeved shirt and brown coloured jeans...
red coloured paan stain on his lips- this guy had come from uttar pradesh.
He sat down on oneside of the gangway telling me to inform him when bhandup station arrives.

"tu UP say ayya hain kya bey?" asked the guy standing behind me in a pure marathi accent.
"kidhar jaa raha hain?" very rudely...

"bhandup" said the guy...

" arey c******* woh pata hain bhandup jaa raha hain, laykin kiskay pass jaa raha hain?".

"bhai kay paas jaa raha hoon"...

"bhaiyaa saale tum log yahan kyun g**** m****** aatein ho!!!. laloo kay paas jaakar g***** m***** na!!".
i saw a sense of utter fear looming over the poor guy.

"bag mein kya laaya hain bay bhikari??".
the guy dint answer.

"tera bhai kya karta hain bhandup mein?"

"fal (fruits) baychta hain"....

"tu kyon jaa raha hain?"

"bhai say milnay jaa raha hoon"...

"bag mein kya laaya hain bay bhikari??"
again he asks and again the guy dint answer.
in that moment the marathi guy catches him with his collar and tries to snatch away the bag...and he succeeds.
he rips open the chain and starts littering the things in the bag!!
Two fellow friends of the maharashtrian guy joined him.

i stood there helpless like a fool looking at the drama unfolding with the only fear that i would be beaten up- again for being an outsider.

Most of the fellow passengers were seen laughing at the upite throwing abuses at him.
The whole drama continued till thane....
with fear in his eyes he got down at mulund telling me that he would call up his brother....||||||

so where are we heading to??? is this what we call our cosmopolitan city??? is this what will be our future shanghai?? ha!!

"Global??? we are not even local!!" screamed The Times Of India.

what do you think?????????????

Let Them Eat Cake

2008-09-21T21:03:00.008+05:30

Although, as it turns out, Marie Antoinette’s famous saying was actually a rumour perpetuated by the revolutionaries, these four words best epitomise the callous indifference of those in any position of wealth or power (the haves) towards those who cannot afford bread, let alone cake (the have-nots).

And,when people ask me about my impressions of India after returning from the US after 12 years, although generally positive, time and again I am reminded of these four words. Presumably, being able to afford a nice apartment in a gated complex with a gym and a swimming pool, I’m a ‘have’ and a chill runs down my spine imagining if some day my head will roll off the sharp blade of a guillotine.

But India is prospering, they tell me. Double-digit growth. Low-cost tech capital of the world. Largest democracy. Superb banking and financial institutions. Special Economic Zones...The list is endless, they reassure me.

Recently, we bought a washing machine and refrigerator from a swanky store in a beautiful mall. When I had left India, I didn’t know what a mall was. Now, standing in the middle of an architectural marvel of glass and steel, I felt confident. India was on the rise. My wife and I were treated like royalty by a flock of smart men and women serving us tea and coffee and reassuring us that delivery would be free and within 48 hours. And lo and behold, within 48 hours there was a telephone call from the security gate to inform me that the men had come to deliver our washing machine and 260-litre refrigerator.

I opened the front door slightly and waited. And waited. Five minutes rolled into ten and then 20. I peeked outside a couple of times to ensure that the elevators were working. They were. When no one had showed up after 45 minutes, a vein of irritation began to throb in my head.

Then there was a light knock on the door and a man younger and thinner than me stood outside, panting, won dering if he had the right ad dress. On that hot, humid af ternoon, he stood sweating as if he had just stepped out of a
shower. His perspiration made his clothes stick to his body as though they were painted on him. He asked if he could have a glass of water for himself and his friend, still struggling up the stairs, lugging the washing machine on his back.

I was shocked. Why hadn’t he used the elevator, I asked. The security guards downstairs wouldn’t allow it, he replied matter-of-factly, as if the error was in the unreasonable request not in the guard’s denial. I was flabbergasted. Using the elevator to ferry a couple of heavy objects up six floors was a privilege, not a right? What if we had lived on the thirteenth floor or bought a 300-litre refrigerator?

Anger welled up inside me and I felt tears of outrage sting my eyes. I marched down to the security office. The guard informed me that he had simply followed the estate manager’s rules. Rules? There was a rule saying that people couldn’t transport heavy appliances on elevators? Yes, the guard informed me with a serious face, there were rules. He justified his concern saying that appliances tend to have sharp edges that could scratch the paint or dent the elevator walls

.
What if the man had twisted his ankle or what if the refrigerator had fallen on him and crushed him, I asked the big, burly estate manager who had shown up. The manager missed my point completely and informed me that the company would surely replace the damaged goods free of cost. This is the new India where customer is king. The delivery man, damn it! Don’t worry, he reassured me, the company would find ten more people like him to do the job.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

I argued, trying to educate him on the basics of humanity, humility and human rights. After a few moments of dodging my pointed questions he said that other tenants of this upscale complex might not want to share elevators with sweaty delivery boys and smelly milkmen. And that’s when visions of murderous crowds with hatchets and spears baying for bourgeois blood begin to fill my head.

Upstairs, my wife was feeling equally sorry for the delivery men. I found them sitting in a corner of our living room, muching on something. The men were hungry, my wife informed me, and, since we didn’t have any bread, she had given them some leftover cake...

(Taken from the Sunday Times Of India;

Mumbai edition dated 21/09/2008

article written by Anirban Bose.

Image: A fibreglass sculpture of Gandhi at a laptop, called ‘India Shining’, by Debanjan Roy)

a day of experiences

2008-09-14T17:30:00.006+05:30

at about 12.30pm i get down at vidyavihar station waiting for richard. He was to accompany me to dadar for giving my laptop for servicing at HP CARE.

by 2.00pm we reach dadar and start looking for the bus which stops at century baazar(kalyani informics at century baazar was were we had to go as per the hp customer care).

it was drizzling outside and the scene outside the station was something i had never seen i my life.the steps on the FOB were covered with layers and layers of slush mixed with waste vegetables.And it was stinking too.Even the kalyan market is a much better place than this!

Like me ric was also clueless as to were we would get the bus from.We decided to ask the shopkeepers near a bus stop for help.We were surprised to know that none of the shopowners we asked had any clue about which bus goes to century bazaar! I wonder how these guys dont know anything about dadar...after all they have been doing business for years here na??
With the help of a commuter we reach century bazaar and after many left and rights we reach kalyani informics on the fourth floor of Kalyandas Mansion.We meet the proprietor who directs us to another room for futher enquiry.The receptionist in the room attends to us and then tells us they do not entertain such complaint and says that the main HP CARE CENTER near dadar station will solve our problem.
Wow!! so why did the customer care direct me here???...

After filling our stomach with kheema and parathas in the nearby restaurnt we head straight to catch a glimpse of the bandra-worli sealink which we chanced upon mistakenly through a gap between the slums on the road.

no one had ever heard of Apple Plaza Building..the commuters in the bus,the conductor,even the post office personnel.But they made sure that the building did exist somewhere on the Senapati Bapat Marg near kohinoor institute.We frantically went searching for the precious kohinoor and found it standing proudly at the the end of the flyover. We saw Apple Plaza hiding behind kohinoor :-)finally...

5.30pm:we are out of HP CARE.
5.37....:eating dahipuri at a chaat stall...the worst ever i had..yucks!! suddenly a man in a red shirt(a 'MNS' marathi manoos) approaches the stall owner and starts abusing him.He was a bit drunk and his dumb wife was with him.he was threatning to overturn the stall...was barking hoe these biharis have spoilt maharashtra..and all the f****** reasons.We stood there and richard tried to capture the going-ons in his mobile.

"me chootyya aahaykaa??" said the man to richard.he understood that rics camera was on.He suddenly got hold of richards mobile..this enraged ric.He got hold of the MNS mans collar and told him
"tula tyala kaay bolaaychey bol...mala haaath laavsheel tar rahnaar nahi.me pun marathi aahay aani tumhi loka marathi maansachey naav ka kharab karta??"

the wife stood unperturbed..and pleaded us to let him go.Ric told the the stallowner to give him a plate of chat free of cost.a policeman who was watching all this hoopla did not utter a single word..

around 8.00 we reach kalyan.I see a boy,a youngster, lying on the platform,froth coming out from his mouth.he probably had fits.Not a single man stopped to help him.We went near him to see how we can help him."arrey why dont you call a doctor?" said richard to a railway employee who was observing us.Seeing both of us a HUGE crowd gathered behind us.A man removed his shoes and mde the boy smell the shoe.After lot of trying the boy finally was back into his senses........
a day of experiences.........

"wish karo ..dish karo???" not really though...

2008-08-10T15:42:00.002+05:30

April 20,2008: dad renews our DishTv subscription(south package) for Rs.600 for a period of six months..
after a lot of haggling and numerous calls to delhi our channels are activated.

July 20,2008: after a tiring day at college when i return home and head towards the switch box to switch on the tv..
"no use..channels have been blocked" said my bro.
"what!!"...
"yeah..see it yourself"..

call customer care at 1 860 1800 3474...
what the hell...the 'subscription expires around October 20.'
'My Account' shows clearly on the tv..
there must have been a mistake..i assume.

"aapka call hamare liye mahatvapoorna hai..kripya line par rahiye" a computer keeps on telling me..
3minutes......aapka call....
7minutes......mahatvapoo.....
13minutes......line par rahiye....
this is what 1 860 1800 3474 is all about.
no sign of my executive...
i wait for dad to come..
dad arrives late that day..
calls up 1 860 1800 3474...
evryone is having dinner except dad whos clinged on to the phone...line par rahiye
after a period of fifteen minutes...a 'live' voice speaks up...after some conversation...

dad: "what!! how can my subscription expire when i have paid for six months!!!"
executive: "blah..blah...blahhh"
dad: "so i have to pay more 300 for the next three months...."
executive: "blahhhhhhhhhhhh"
dad:"kk..thank you..no no..yeah.." and hangs up..
they suddenly raised the package price by Rs.50 and so channels have been blocked.
what a novel way of minting money from the customers.

after 3-4 days dad brings with him a Dishtv ITZ cash card of Rs.300(similar to mobile topup cards)
9.30pm: i messg as per the format given on the card to 57575.
9.31pm: dishtv sends a messg that i have entered the wrong pin number.i check what i sent.negative...i messgd the correct pin number..
9.32pm: again i resend the mesg after lots of rechecking.
9.33pm: dishtv sends me the same messg..

i call them through their airtel toll free number and renew my account by Rs.300.
executive tells me that my channels will be reactivated "within 24hours."
10pm: "sorry the format you entered was wrong.the correct format is...."dishtv sends me 4 back to back messgs.so why the hell did they print the wrong format!! 4rupees wasted..

DAY 2:
10pm: still no signs of the channels being activated.

DAY 3:
8pm: still no sign.
i call up 1800 1860 3474..no hopes...

9.30pm: dad is again on the phone...same story repeats as day1.but...
executive gives us a mumbai number.

9.55pm: dad calls mumbai number."number does not exist". wow!!..dad is enraged..
10.10pm: dad tries again...luck goes through..he directs us back to 180018603474
dad: "no use calling that number..if we wait for two days then also there will be no response"dad tells the mumbai executive.
executive: "sir u dint tell us to activate the channels".
dad: "what!! are you people so senseless.why did i pay that 300 for then!!!!you mean to say that if i hadnt called then you would not have activated the channels..and you would have kept my 300.we are not expecting such kind of service from you.please.thank you." dad hangs up.

DAY 4:
channels are activated.
i hope SRK knows what type of service the brand he's endorseing gives...

This is mumbai!!!

2008-07-04T15:38:00.003+05:30

its hmmmm..round 11.30 in kurla and the ambarnath fast local still has to come..a gap of 10minutes and the train finally chucks in.Everyone gets in before the train halts...cool down people.Its not peak hour!

i boarded last and stood little away from the footboard below the weirdly placed 'shankar' fan covered with dust which rarely gives you air.chalo something is better than nothing.

just before the train leaves a man in his thirties jumps in.
hes wearing a black jersey with siemens mobile printed in bold letters on it.With grey puma sandals,a light blue track pant and a maggi noodles shaped hair this man was really a dude...oh i forgot he had a thick goatee too under his chin.

"i am in some fast local and when i get down at ttt-taaney ill catch a rick and come at sooraj paaak"
He said in a thick accent before dissconnecting his call. i thought maybe hes from the western line and new on the central.

"hey you look like a college student.this train goes to taaney??"
"yeah" i say

"well this the local of mumbai.. rite? its probably known as lifeline f mewmbai back there"
"where??" i wonder...

"well i am from uk nd this my first visit to mewmbai"
"do you know how to go to soooraj paak from thane?"(suraj water park)

"its a water park you are talkin about?"
"yeah" again in a thick accent he says...and the commuters are looking at him so curiously i dont know what to say.
"sorry i am not from thane."
"kkkk.."

"i gt sum cooopns from koorl..koorla...they took 400 bucks from me"
"what the fuck!!!" i say in a low voice.

"who gave you this??"
"tthe guy at the counter at koorla".

"you have been cheated" i say to him on the face.
"he first took 30 bucks from me..then led me to the the punching thing..and then he said cause i dint have immigration documents ill hav to giv him 400 bucks...its ok rite..400bucks its too low for the people here rite??

i wonder how a railway employee can cheat a tourist.
the train picks up speed after ghatkopar and starts 'jumping'.

"its ok rite???..."he gets afraid.
"yeah its normal...old trains you know"
i stared laughing when i saw that fear in his face...hahahaha...
he showed me the punched coupons and handed the rest of the bunch....
"take it..ill not need it ni more.."
"this hapns to evryone whos new here i told him"...
he agreed..

"where do you stay right now??" i ask him
"j. w.maarriottt in santacruuuzzz"again in thick accent.

"buddy u speak good english.."he compliments me.
another fiften minutes paas by...he speaks about the conditions in uk..his job in uk..and all that stufff...

hope you enjoyed a liitle bit reading this..
i did by experiencing it......
and for that railway employee...what can we do??

(PS:the guy is an indain from goa,born and brought up in uk.
he works for abn-amro.he gave me his number too..and told there should be people like me who will be helpful to others..and hey his name was raj with a surname i dint get)

UNHOLY MESS

2008-07-03T18:12:00.006+05:30

"station aa gaya bhai!!" a startling voice suddenly wakes me up from my deep slumber after a tiring journey and a boring HUMAN RESOURCE MANAGEMENT lecture.My train screeches to a halt at kalyan station.A young lady is making announcements on the public address system.

i decide to have a bite of samosa pav from pandits bang opposite the station.

the moment i exit i notice that except for the few autowallas and vegetabe vendors every other shop was shut down.everything wore a deserted look.why????

because its bharat bandh yaaar...!!!

you know the BJP is so insecure about their amarnath land that they are resorting to violence and bandhs.Just a political gimmick so that they can win some votes huh??
thank god we in mumbai did not have to suffer much except for some stone throwings.
thanks to the high court which made SHIV SENA cough up some lakhs for all of their illegal bandhs some yeras ago.They just gave BJP a moral support.And thats it.
meanwhile when i was reading the newspapert this is what a BJP activist had to say
"why should we accomodate them and pay for their pilgrims when the kashmiri muslims in the country dont want to accomodate us?"
now did you notice how he used the words 'them' and 'us'....
This is india and these are our politicians.
GOD HELP US.

Customer?? Who The F*** Cares

2008-07-01T10:46:00.003+05:30

"Hey dude i am goin to the airtel gallery after the lectures.."susheel tells me before our lecture starts in the afternoon.

It so happened that some customer care executive from airtel called up 'divsi' and told her that sushlee had not paid up his outstanding bill...

and kept on harassing her..

Hey wait a minute!! if sushlee dint pay up his bill why call up divsi and not sushil??(its a different story that susheel did pay his bill)
and how the hell did they get her number??

Airtel did something that no professional company of such stature would do.Shame on them!!
They took up sushils call records,saw which number he has 'transactions'(messages and calls) with the most(it was divsis) without even his permission!!!
its breach of privacy man!!!imagine this same thing happening to you!!!

God only knows why dint they contact him.These people had his residential address na.They could have landed up at his home if they were so concerned about the bill.
why harass others??

its around 5:30 in the evening and we reach Airtel Gallery in dombivli.
'Help Us Serve You Better' is displayed on the left hand side of the gallery just as we(susheel,sudeep and me) enter.
Sharukh Khan has been 'freezed' inside a frame on the right.
Three Executives are dressed in blue t-shirts with their names displayed on a steel badge tucked on the teee.
Customers are waiting anxiously for their turn to tell up their grieveances.
Most of them are there for cancellation of their airtel connections.They too are fed up of airtel.

susheel gets a waiting card of '83'.
card number '71' is arguing with the execuive over his sim cancellation.hehehe:):);)
71:"if you dont cancel my sim see what i'll do" he threatens.
as usual customer executive is not saying anything.Customer Care you know!!
71 gets up from his seat.He's a tall hefty man and is very angry.
"Idiots" he says before leaving.
"you idiot" sys the executive..haha..Customer Care you know!!
his luck that the 71 dint hear him or else he would have been pulped.

sudeep as usual was on his jokes and we dint know how 20 minutes passed.
meanwhile we also filled up the feedback forms with all the swearings we knew..

Its been three days and card number 80's connection has still not been activated.
Shes sent back with some vague reasons.When asked if they dont have any records of her card with them she gets a negative reply.

The moment susheel takes his seat the system crashes down.
and the rest is history...

Now you know why indian firms are far behind their international counterparts in terms of service.
Go for any SIM connection but not AIRTEL.
as i told you most of the customers were there to dump their connections.......
cheers...

The Manhole Cover Mystery

2008-06-27T20:04:00.005+05:30

what does india's sewage system, or the lack of it have to do with that pinnacle of sportmanship and human bonding, the olympics? the answer can be had from the brihanmumbai municipal corporation(bmc). Readers of the Times Of India, seeing the headline "1,500 manhole covers stolen, BMC says Olympics to blame" on monday, might have been somewhat alarmed as to the state of the mental health of mumbais civic officials. But like all else, there is much method endemic madness of this glorious nation of ours.The BMC is of the opinion that the explosive construction activity accompanying the forthcoming Beijing extravaganza has led to a spike in demand for iron ore.It could also be called a rather twisted case of the famed indian entrepreneurial spirit(each cover apparently fetches a cool rs.5,500), but given the unifying olympic context, we could console ourselves by the magnanimity, helping the asian cause, as it were. And since we ritually send out large contingents to the games so that they can return empty handed, perhaps the chinese will also be kind enough to fix us a few medals in return- a couple of bronzes maybe, one mustn't be too greedy..

this isn't just about comic relief amidst the normality ofmurders, price hikes, et al. there is also possibly a social service angle to this. One has been made sufficiently aware as to the do-gooder spirit that shuffles the mumbai gangs, as Mr. Ram Gopal Varma never tires of pointing out. and with the monsoon arriving early, these lid-lifters are helping to prevent mumbais woeful tryst with flooded streets. as the monty python song says, "always look on the bright side of life."

(editorial:The Economic Times)

How To Carry On The Family Name.

2008-06-20T16:50:00.005+05:30

In India, every year 1.1 million unborn baby girls die before they are born. A disturbing print ad to raise awareness of female foeticide from Contract Advertising Mumbai.

This ad recently won a gold at Cannes Lions 08-ad festival.
Cannes Lions is the oscars for the ad world.

Standing a moral on its head

2008-06-18T09:18:00.004+05:30

In Chicken Soup For The Soul there’s a story about a man who was watching a desperate life or death struggle happening in front of his eyes as he sat in an inn near Toronto one afternoon. it concerned a fly that had come into the room and was trying to get out of the window. Trouble was, the window was closed and the creature couldn’t fly through the glass pane .yet it kept buzzing its whining wings all that much harder and hammering itself repeatedly up and down the glass till, as the writer correctly surmised, it would eventually wear out its little body’s life force and collapse and die on the sill.

He then goes on to say that this drama needn’t necessarily have concluded the way it did because there was actually an open door just a few feet away. All the fly had to do was use it to escape to the outdoors and freedom. If only the fly had realized the glass was not something it could go through it would not have wasted its precious energy. Instead of banging its head against an imaginary solution it could have flown sideways a small distance and exited the room easily.
Moral: Trying harder isn’t necessarily the solution to achieving more; sometimes trying different can work miracles.

However, the reason the moral works the way it does is because flies have been around for some 65 million years, which is 60 million years more than humans. And the reason they’ve been so successful as a species, in spite of all our latter day efforts to exterminate them off the planet, is because of the amazing survival skills and adaptations they’ve developed to cope with the environment. Unfortunately, glass became part of that environment only about 5000nyears ago. They literally didn’t know what hit them.

But if, on the other hand, glass was also millions of years old, flies would have had evolutionary time by now to have developed strategies to deal with it. Perhaps the fittest among them would have known about flying around it- say, through an open door a few feet away. In this revised scenario if we saw a less fit fly trapped at a window and trying constantly to move sideways but not moving enough distance to get to a door, what would be the moral of the story??

Simple: try harder. And don’t even think of trying something different like attempting to go through the window.

Moral: don’t accept the moral of a story (including this one) at face value.

(Source: Cosmic Uplink; The Economic Times.
By Mukul Sharma.)

mr. sameer mar-ke-ting virani

2008-06-18T08:58:00.004+05:30

Its 1.59 pm and it will take me another 3 minutes to reach the college for the 2pm Rural Marketing lecture. I rush inside with the whole load of unbearable sweat running down my face…. Phew!! I heave a sigh of relief when I see pratik and neha sitting outside the classroom chatting. The professor has not yet arrived. I take my seat next to shashank in the second last bench in the first row.

This was to be the first lecture of Rural Marketing. I was eagerly waiting to know who the professor will be. We experienced quite interesting professors for the last two subjects. And then…

A guy in his late twenties or forget…..a young guy enters the classroom. Good looking and fair. “Hey he’s the prof.” somebody says from behind.

“What! Just look at him man!!!”

He wore an off white crumpled shirt with half of the front coming out on one side. a helmet and a briefcase was in his hands. His face looked as if he had not slept for quite some years. Hair was unkempt. The formal pants resembled like low slung jeans. I could see his checked black baniyan from behind.

It looked like the poor guy had been beaten by quite a big mob for rash driving. hehehe…

But Sameer turned out to be quite an interesting professor!! He spoke sense and it was good listening to all the factual information he was giving…like the people of Punjab who make lassi in washing machines…and that rural maharashtra has the maximum number of S-class Mercedes than Mumbai.

And I am not telling you about ‘COW WASH’..:)

Always on top.

2008-06-11T20:46:00.000+05:30

i feel i am kinda weird while i am writing this...but let me tell you........

i am fed up of always topping the list in the attendance register....dint get me???ok...

While i was in KG my roll number used to be 1.
In my school days i my roll was 21.roll number 1-20 used to be the girls.so i was the first one in the boys list.

when i got into my junior college-ROll no.2

in my board exams i topped the listing in the number of students listed in the centre!!!lucky na..

now in my degree college the story continued for the first year.
In my second year my roll call dipped to 56.secondlast from last.I thought my tryst with being on top has finally ended but where!!! i am back on top in the list in my third and final year now....

Roll No.2.:)

News We Believe In

2008-06-11T09:18:00.000+05:30

Its tuesday evening and its 6:30 on the clock.
Its raining cats and dogs outside for the past few hours.Good time to kick that ball.....but my friends are having their exams.what should i do???
mmmmmm......chalo lets watch news i decide.

Hindi news channels are a great source of 'entertainment' and you can while your time away by watching them.

Dishtv takes around 2minutes to send the signal back to my set-top box from their satellite up in space.

Few weeks ago Zee News said they have changed their format and they will be into more sensible news rather than showing what type of tiles SRK has fitted on in his toilet.
ok....
channel no.572-Zee News- they are still clicked on to aarushi hatyakand.

channel no.573-IndiaTv- a jyotish is predicting when mumbai will get submerged in the rains.

channel no.574-Aaj tak-till today they have not shown any sensible news.I see one wannabe dancing on the screen.

channel no.575-NDTV India-Inflation.

channel n0.576-Live India: 'duniya hoshiyar' in big bold letters keeps piercing in my eyes.
so heres the news: some agency in japan intercepted signals from space.the signals said that 2people from amrika have been kidnapped by 'their' colleagues from space.(i wonder why always an american gets involved in this.why dont they pick people from other countries).they are planning an attack on the duniya.hehehe....interesting na!!

clippings of jadooo from koi mil gaya are being beamed on one side.and once again a jyotish is seen giving all his predictions on the other...sooooo.

News We Believe In.(not me though)

PLEASE!!!!

2008-06-09T17:03:00.000+05:30

how often have you seen people spitting in public places????

its sooooo common in aamchi mumbai. i have often seen cowards spitting which makes my blood boil with extra bubbles.

well here is a research done by DR P.S. VIVEK:
Dr Vivek bases his research on reports compiled by KEM Hospital and the Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation at different points of time.
Working on the assumption that 10 per cent of Mumbai’s population of 1.4 crore consumes tobacco in its actual form and in the form of gutkha, betel leaves, etc, Dr Vivek conducted a random survey that revealed that at a time such people spit an average of 3 grams. If on an average, such a person spits 10 times a day, that amounts to 30 grams of spit per person per day, which means the city generates almost 14,70,000 litres of spit everyday!!!

THE SPITTING EPIDEMIC

QUANTUM OF SPIT PER PERSON

Each time 3 gms (avg)

No of times 10 per day

Spitting per day (3 x 10) 30 gms per day

Spitting per annum (30 gms x 365 days) 10,950gms per year

VOLUME OF SPIT PER INDIVIDUAL

Volume of spit per individual per day 30g ms = 105millilitres

Estimated no of people who spit in Mumbai (10 per cent of 1.4 crore) = 14,00,000

Quantity of spit per day 14,00,000 x 105 ml = 14,70,000 litres per day

Quantity of spit per annum 14,70,000 x 365 days = 5,36,550 kilo litres per annum.

(source:mesn.org)thank you

cancelled railway(CR)

2008-06-07T15:33:00.000+05:30

trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring.....trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrinnng.my alarm rings

aaah its 5am ..i need to get up and go for my tuition class,around 45 kilometers from my pad...
always dependent on our good old locals....i reach station for my routine 6:04am local...just to know
that it came before time and left(a bit unusual in mumbai!!!).

its only two days that pre monsoon showers are over mumbai giving us a respite from. the swealtering heat.
so what i missed my train ?? i wait for the 6:24am local....
its 6:25am no sign of the brown monster yet.....
6:26....27........28.........29...............kidhar hai yaaar!!!!

suddenly the the public announcement system came to life....
it made some sound as if it were trying to cotact someone from space.....
a lazy mard ka aawaz starts saying something.......

poor dude the kintergarden chap had a voice sooo low that i dint understand a single word he said.
"yuhh local anishchit samay par aaanayki sambhavna hai" a woman came on and said...

i look up at the indicator and 6:24 becomes 6:42......wow!!!! they are playing games...
the first wet day......the first casualty....the same old story repeats....for around 160years...

6:24 is cancelled....

'11:59TL' beams the indicator at sion station...we let it go (shank's vid me)
k....12:2A is cancelled.
12:15T takes me to thane...
12:20KP gets cancelled......and all the down locals
m still at thane station..........................................................................................................

hey dear..remember you always.......

2008-06-07T15:16:00.000+05:30

dedicated to 'my dear' who ashnsuddenly gone far away from me

it was mid december,
when i met you as a stranger,
you took me as a friend,
and promised that would neverv end.

you had a smile on your pretty face,
that could light up even the darkest place.

your arrival would make my dace brighter,
your laughter would make my tense moments lighter.

now i had ears to listen,
a heart to understand.
you brought me comfort,and
lent me a helping hand.

your melodies would stop the thunder,
your joys would clear the sky.

my heart would melt when you cry,
yuo are the person whom i'll always treasure in my heart.

even as the days and years go by,
you will foreever be an inseparable part of me.

today when i see the dark sky,
i spot a lonely star,
hae comes to me and says,
"friend,don't thiunk about her,she's gone too far"

(source:ht cafe)

senseless foooools

2008-06-06T10:47:00.000+05:30

the UPA government recently hiked fuel prices by Rs.5/litre for petrol and Rs.3/litre for diesel.
almost every country in this globe is grapling with inflation and rising oil prices.

we were already getting oil at reduced prices and when the crude oil price gets heavier at $135/barrel,oil companies who were already suffering loses did not take it anymore. The govt. had to increase prices and were left with no options.

but the BJP and the LEFT parties started protesting.all the left states had bandhs.WEST BENGAl had two. the BJP criticized it by saying "its a black day for the country"

what black day man!!! dont you people have common sense. if crude oil prices get higher its global phenomenon.you got to live with it!!!! the only thing i have to say to these fooools is

"GROW UP DUDE!!!!!!"

my 'first' encounter with a gay on aamchi mumbai local

2008-06-06T09:41:00.000+05:30

well friends this incident happened when i was in my junior college(3 years before)....

it was my fourth month in the college in mulund(a suburb in mumbai) where my college used to be..

i was only a rookie in travelling in our infamous mumbai locals then.i used to get goosebumps whenever i waited for a train back to my home in kalyan(a distant suburb of mumbai).the travelling usually very boring because i used to commute in first class and first class commutrers are rather very strange.almost every commuter in it has a copy of The Economic Times in their hands and these people are not bothered about who is sitting next to them.

it was only a week that rains had come over mumbai.i was on my way to mulund station after a heavy football practice session. it was raining but only a little drizzle.i was in my shorts and my yellow colour college jersey.....fully drenched. hair was in a complete mess.

thankfully i got a kalyan bound local which i knew will get empty by the time it reaches thane.i manged to board in. the moment i got inside i suddenly felt the suspicious look the first class commuters were giving on me. you know if if you are not properly dressed theres a chance that you will be thrown out of a first class compartment.

i kept my bag on the racks and stood near the door for fresh air.four people were already clinging on to the door.One of them suddenly smiled at me.He was dressed in a yellow shirt and blue jeans,was fair and looked quite decent.i smiled toooo.he looked at me head to toe and said "arrey idhar khada rehene ko jaga hai yaar..aaja." he gave me space i and i got i squeezed in. then he asked me

"dude, you have a problem if i keep my hand on your shoulder??actually it will be comfortoble for me." i allowed him.

then he started squeezing my muscles and said "tum bauhaut sexy ho yaar!!"
"thank you thank you" with a cuning smile on my lips.

suddenly that man started feelin me down 'there' and at that moment a shiver went down my spine.i got out from there and came inside.gave a look around to see if anyone had seen it. my hands started trembling. i was in a complete shock man!!!

from that day i changed i looked at men..

PS: still i had to more encounters.hehe......

show your virginity girl!!!!!

2008-06-04T10:15:00.000+05:30

if you are a girl from the chhara commnity from gujarat going to get married...then get ready for virginity test...hehe.

wondering whats this?? well when a girl from this community gets married (to a boy of her community obviously) the very next day of her first night she has to prove that she's a virgin...

now how will she prove this..well here are the steps...

step1:get a large sheet of white cloth...
step2:make sure it is pure
step3:now make out your first night on this cloth..

step4:now the following day female members from the grooms family will be doing an examination of the cloth..
step5:if the cloth has blood stains on it..yipeee... you are pure my girl..and your family will be honoured...

now if you dont have blood stains on the cloth then girl..you will be forced to get a divorce and your family will be discriminated and your life will be made a helll!!!

india is a growing economy...the world says...and we still have people who are orthodox and fools!!!! in this 21st century....

first day

2008-06-04T09:40:00.000+05:30

my first day on the blog...its 9.53am on my clock and have been on the keyboard for the last 20 minutes thinking of what to put on this new baby of mine...

still thinking....

STRINGS are playing "yeh meri kahani" on my altec lansing speaker....

still thinking....

"then why did you create this when you dont know what to do!!!" i hear someone saying inside my mind..."get lost" ..i say..

'....cut for you' is in my hands..i just flip through the pages...

wait a minute!!!..i got my first topic....